While writing this blog post, I have swirling thoughts interfering with my creation process. Thoughts that disrupt my thinking pattern and try to make me believe that I am not worthy or good enough to write this.

They get loud and frankly, they are difficult to deal with.

They try to convince me to give up and just quit following my dreams all together. They want me to follow the easy road. The road that is the safest, where nothing can happen to me.

But, then I think about the question my therapist asked me: “Which road will benefit you more in the long term?”

The consequences of not following through with your goals are immense if you think about it.

This might also scare you. Just like it does for me

But at times, we need to receive a wake-up call. And this is it!

Let’s explore together what these thoughts mean and how we can learn to deal with them in a healthy way.

Written from my own experience, this blog post will dive deeper into this.

What are interfering thoughts?

Interfering thoughts are thoughts that interfere with or disrupt any action you want to do in life.

They stop you in your tracks.

And, most of all, you can’t make them cease to exist or control them.

Compare them to pop-ups that keep showing up on your computer.

No matter how many times you click them away, they don’t disappear and you’re just left to listen to them.

Each person experiences negative thoughts on a daily basis. This is a normal phenomenon.

However, the difference with interfering thoughts is that they create conflicts in your daily life.

They can get so loud that the rest of the world blocks out.

Consequently, you may feel chaotic, not remembering what you were just doing, forgetting to do simple, basic tasks such as getting dressed, cleaning up the table after breakfast, and so on.

Even if you do or don’t do something, they are still there. It’s like on some days, you can never fully rest.

It can become a twisted mix of anxiety and depression at once.

You get anxious about doing certain things wrong, so you ignore doing them and then you get depressed for not getting anything done and constantly distracting yourself. It’s a vicious circle.

These thoughts can be compulsive, and relentless and have no mercy on you.

They can enter at any unwanted time, and at times, make you want to obsessively overcheck certain things.

A personal example for me is the following. When I’m closing my door because I am going out, I double-check if I closed it fully. Sometimes, it makes me even run back to the door to check it again.

For me, it stems from a terrifying feeling of doing anything wrong or some sort of feeling of failure, in a severe form.

It’s like if I would for example not close the door well, and robbers would rob the house, I would constantly blame myself for what happened.

These thoughts manifest differently in each person. Some, like me, hear loud, angry voices on bad days.

Others may describe them as just thoughts that pop up and go. They might not link it to voices being said out loud.

In the next paragraph, we will go into more detail as to why we tend to get these thoughts.

However, the most important take-away to remember is to not link your identity to it.

You are NOT your thoughts.

Observing And Managing The Thought Process

1st Key Component: observing and recognizing the thoughts for what they are

Think of them like some annoying, toxic co-worker that keeps putting you down with their mean words.

That is just what they are.

Let them flow by and say whatever they want to say. Breathe and let it pass like clouds drifting through the wind.

Thoughts are nothing more than thoughts. That’s all there is to it.

There’s no reason to try to control them.

You can even speak back to them out loud or just ignore them.

Keep a distance from what they say. A good exercise for this is to imagine that they are sitting on a chair next to you, and you’re just listening to them.

Try not to act on what they say.

And if you did decide to act on them, don’t blame yourself. They are already being hard enough on you.  Try not to judge yourself.

Bitter truth: they might never fully go away.

BUT what you can do is DECIDE to put the voices in the background.

You are the main character in this play. Not them.

You are in charge!

Second Key Component: REMEMBERING that these thoughts are not reality

They are separate from you.

They are not who you are.

You are not to blame for the mechanisms your brain uses to protect you, and that is exactly what they are.

Somewhere along the line in your life, these negative thoughts were put in your head.

If you had a rough upbringing with lots of fighting and screaming, your brain took these words inside, because you didn’t want to blame others for the abuse you got at home, and turned them into mechanisms to further protect you in life.

So no one can hurt you ever again.

Compare it to hearing a piece of a song on the radio in the supermarket, and now it’s stuck in your head the whole day.

That strict voice in your head, that perfectionistic voice that makes you so tired: it’s familiar to you because you heard it somewhere.

Maybe you got told as a kid that you were fat, ugly, or never good enough. And this doesn’t always have to be verbal signs. Non-verbal signs count, too.

And now, the thoughts tend to be strict on the way you look, behave, act, are and make you insecure.

They didn’t come from nowhere, they came from somewhere.

Someone must’ve told you these words.

And frankly, they are not the reality and they don’t define who you are!

You can learn to ignore them. You can learn to drown them out.

You can learn to reposition your thoughts.

Remember that you are in control and you always were.

No matter what they say or try to talk you out of doing something.

This hit me as well.

You might think: “But, easy for you to say. I am tired of battling these debilitating thoughts.”

I’m in the same boat. I’m right there with you. I know how tiring they can get. But it’s not because you are tired, that you failed.

You are hella strong for dealing with these thoughts on a daily basis!

3^rd Key Component: being nice to yourself for having these thoughts

ALWAYS REMEMBER that you are not a bad person for having these thoughts!

You don’t fail in life for having these thoughts!

You are not behind for having these thoughts!

You are a warrior!!!!

There is no need to blame yourself, because you never did anything wrong.

Allow yourself time to grow, to be able to recognize these thoughts.

Allow yourself to “fail”. That it’s fine to give in to them.

We are merely human. We are created imperfect.

I believe in you and I hope you believe in yourself as well.

Much love,

L.

PS: I am leaving some beautiful reminders below. Re-read them in your tough times.

 “Your thoughts aren't facts. Some thoughts are louder and darker than others. When overwhelmed by thoughts, try your best to relax, breathe, and let them roll on by like big dark storm clouds. It's okay to watch the storm, but there's no point in arguing with the thunder. To inspire yourself, know that you only need to do your best, and as you grow you'll become even better. Perfection does not exist in humans, but you should try to strive to become the person you needed when you were younger”